Are You Sleepwalking Through Life?

I’ve noticed a disturbing trend as I go about my daily commute to work. Am I the only one ‘awake?’ It’s almost if I’m traveling amongst zombies.

Maybe an explanation or picture needs to be painted first. Here’s what happened yesterday (although it’s really no different than any other day):

I walk up to the train platform, my shoes crunching on the freshly strewn salt. Snowflakes hit my warm face, melting on contact. Nothing in particular is on my mind. I often enjoy this time during the day. My breath hits the air and does its rhythmic dance as I breathe in and out. It’s snowing and it’s quiet. I don’t know what it is, but there’s always this very peaceful silence when it snows. It’s not a deadening silence, but a comforting and welcoming silence as if the earth itself is in a blissful sleep under the newly fallen blanket of snow.

I look around. Some people are looking at their phones. Others are reading a paper. Most look completely uncomfortable and lost in their thoughts. Do they see what I see? Where are their minds?

Out of the silence I hear the approaching train. As it reaches the station, people suddenly come alive, quickly hurrying to the door of the train so they can be the first one on. It doesn’t matter if it’s cold or warm out. The same thing happens every day. What’s the hurry? Will getting on the train first get you to your destination any quicker?

I walk into one of the train cars. The warm air is a welcome change from the frigid cold outside. I find a seat and sit down. Today I read a book, but other days I might stare out the window watching the homes and city go by in a blur.

Before we arrive at the train station downtown, something interesting happens. People get up and rush to the door. I think, “But we aren’t even stopped yet. What’s the point of getting up now?” It’s strange, but I can feel and sense the eager anticipation of the other riders. Many have furrowed brows and stressful looks on their faces. Sometimes the stress is transferred to me. Do I need to get up? Should I be in a hurry? Once again, I think: Do they see what I see? Where are their minds?

A mad rush ensues once I’m off the train. People literally speed walk and run out of the train station. I pass a homeless man asking for money and I smile at him. Does he see what I see? I wonder what his thoughts are of the crazy rush of people passing by him to who knows where and to do who knows what.

All of us need to cross the street, but the glowing, orange hand warns us to stop, or maybe just warns me to stop because people start running like crazy now. One woman almost gets hit by a bus making a turn. The mass of people continue on their way to their offices and respective places of work in a frantic rush.

Flash forward nine hours later.

I walk out of the office and get swept away by the current of people heading back toward the train station. It’s a repeat of this morning’s events. People speed walk and run. A stranger rushes by me giving me an annoyed glance because I’m apparently not walking fast enough for him. I just smile at him.

I get on the train, find a place to sit and begin reading my book. As we approach the stop I get off at, people once again get up and rush toward the door. I wait. I’m the last one off at my stop and I take a second to look around. I look into the faces of a few and they don’t seem to be there. Would they wake up if I snapped my finger? What would it take for them to be here, right now in this moment as it is? I watch them run down the platform and disappear into the dark night.

I’m now at home, sitting on my couch enjoying a hot cup of tea. I find that my thoughts have moved elsewhere. I think back to the daily commute, wondering why everyone is in such a rush. Can life possibly be enjoyed if we live like this? If we’re always striving to get to the next place, do the next thing, work on the next project, get to the next meeting on time, write the next blog post, network with the next person, make the next dollar and on and on and on.

If we are to live like this then I find it hard to believe that anyone can find happiness. What that happiness is, of course, depends on the person, however, if we’re perpetually pre-occupied with what we have to do next or what happened in the past, will we ever find our way or will life go by unnoticed until we are on our deathbed only to realize then that most of our life was spent asleep?

It doesn’t have to be like this. I used to be like the people mentioned above. I’m slowly learning (key: still learning) to let go. To not worry so much about what needs to get done and how I can squeeze every ounce of productivity out of every day. By just being I have found that more creativity has flowed through me. It’s a difficult task. There are times when I get lost in my thoughts only to ‘wake up’ and realize that a minute, ten minutes or even a half hour went by completely unnoticed.

I do feel that great good will come if we all learn to slow down. You don’t have to shut off your thoughts or necessarily quiet the mind. In fact, consciously trying to do that will likely create more frustration. Instead, practice just being and observing without judging your thoughts or having any preconceived expectations of what should happen by doing this practice. Ask yourself, “Am I awake?”

Do you see what I see? Where is your mind?

Photo Credit: Bryan Champ