What is the one ‘thing’ that lights you up and gets you talking? What would you do even if you weren’t paid to do it? Having trouble answering these questions? Don’t sweat it.
Here’s a bit of advice: Stop trying to find the perfect answer to what you should do with your life.
The problem with searching for the perfect answer is that you’re not taking responsibility for the present moment. There’s an illusion that somewhere out there lies this perfect answer wrapped up in a pretty little package just waiting to be opened by you so you can have a magical ‘a ha’ moment and run off into the sunset living happily ever after.
People spend a significant amount of time searching and waiting. Inevitably nothing happens. Years go by and the elusive answer to the question ‘what should I do with my life’ doesn’t come to them.
News flash: It doesn’t work like that.
I don’t say this to be jaded. I say it from experience. For years I got so caught up in the trap of trying to find the perfect answer that I never did anything to change my current situation. Not one frickin’ thing.
Don’t Look Outside for the Answer
Deep down I guess I always thought the answer would come from some other source.
- A brilliant blog post that would provide some sort of ‘a ha’ moment.
- A book on careers or personal development.
- From a friend or family member (e.g. ‘Hey you should really do X with your life’).
While I still love reading blogs and books on personal development and unconventional living, I finally realized that I shouldn’t expect someone else to provide me with a magic answer to what I should do with my life.
It might seem obvious to some, but is it really? Aren’t we always looking for outside approval? What will others think of us if we do X activity? What is the socially acceptable ‘thing’ to do?
It might affect me more since I have always been concerned with what other people think of me. Fortunately I’m starting to let this go. I now look to myself as opposed to looking to others for answers. You are the only one who can decide what’s best for you. Remember this.
Fear Severely Affects Our Personal Development
Along with looking for outside approval and guidance, we look for the perfect time to do something. Most of the time this is out of fear.
‘What if I’m not good enough to do this?’
‘Am I smart enough to start my own business?’
‘What if I fail?’
‘What will others think of me if I go down this path?’
This endless mind chatter can go on and on. We are constantly psyching ourselves out. Start listening to your ‘gut.’ Do you get an excited feeling in the pit of your stomach when you think about making a drastic change? Do you feel a little nervous? That’s good – you should!
There is always some uncertainty involved in making a major change in our lives, but that’s ok. Don’t let the fear hold you back. Instead, listen to what your body is telling you. You’ll know if it’s not the right path for you.
Realize You Change As You Grow Older
We evolve as we grow older. Our goals change. What we once might have placed value on when we were 21 is likely to be completely different to what we place value on when we’re 40. Expect change and embrace it.
Again, don’t be concerned that there has to be one magic answer to what you should do with your life. There isn’t. Nurture and develop your current interests. Utilize your strengths. Do work that makes you happy, but don’t feel like you need to get too attached to it. It should be a process of testing a whole bunch of interests to see what really gets you going.
My goal is to constantly learn and evolve as a person. I embrace change in my life. Fresh experiences and activities provide a sense of ‘newness’ to my life that makes me feel alive
Do Something Today
Do instead of wait. Be pro-active instead of re-active. It’s only by doing that we evolve and learn. A lot of times non-doing can be directly related to our fear. Avoid this.
Other times we set goals and shoot them down right away thinking that they are not achievable. Maybe we don’t even know where to start.
The best advice I can give you is to take action. I’ve been reading and studying personal development and unconventional ways of living for the majority of my life. My problem is that while I read a lot I never took any action.
Starting this blog is a small step in taking some physical action. I want to share my experiences and hopefully help other people better manage their time and lives. Is it a little scary putting myself out there? Sure, but what’s scarier is not doing anything at all.
Don’t wait for the perfect time to start because you’ll get caught up in a perpetual state of non-doing. The perfect time to start is right now.
Stop Taking Life So Seriously
In the past I got too caught up in trying to figure out what to do with my life and the meaning of life. I love philosophy and psychology, so talking about grandiose, ‘life ideas’ is something that I very much enjoy, however, I don’t get so caught up in it anymore.
I’m starting to learn to stop taking things so personally. Life should be fun. While there may be some difficult times, we should all enjoy what we’re doing. Life is so much more enjoyable when we loosen up a little bit.
Start appreciating the simple pleasures in life. Stop worrying so much about what other people think. Get out there and start doing something today!
I’m Nate, a writer, mindfulness practitioner and student of the inner workings of the mind.
Hey Nate, nice blog and awesome article. I gave you a stumble! Cheers
.-= Oscar – freestyle mind´s last blog ..How to Prioritize Tasks in Your Life =-.
Oscar – thanks for stopping by, I appreciate it!
I like the fun part! It´s right, do whatever pleases you and combines well with your interests & talents – and in addition to that, do something that´s good not only for you, but also for other he people out there. This way, you´ll find “your thing” on the way … and enjoying the whole trip!
@ Fabian – Exactly. It’s all about exploring. Dabble in topics that interest you. I think this is where people run into problems. They expect to be super pumped up and energized and 100% certain that some ‘thing’ is the thing they should be doing.
It works like that for some, but for many people it’s totally different, which is why many people get caught up in a perpetual state of searching. You need to nurture your interests – explore them and see where they will take you. Once you do that you may find out that you absolutely love it and can’t get enough of it or it just becomes a nice hobby, which you keep doing. In my mind it’s a win-win regardless of the outcome.
Absolutely. I have to admit I´m feeling this these days… a lot of excitement due to finally digging into the English-speaking blog scene after so many years. Hope you make it to the next brainstorm call, it was really nice today!
Spot on! I love philosophy and psychology, but like you I like to balance that with action. For me there is a lot of gold in your post, I definately have changed as I have got older. It’s an ongoing battle, but I am becoming less worried about what others think and more interested in what I think! I think I spent most of my 20′s searching for an answer, only recently I have started to realise, there really isn’t one. We create it.
Jen
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Make Fast Decisions =-.
You know it’s the exact same thing with me. I spent most of my 20′s searching as well and thinking there was some magic answer out there. It took my a long time, but I finally came to that realization myself. And I finally realized that the power to do something is within me and it’s not going to come from some outside source.