New habits can be hard to form. Why is that? How come most people, who make the resolution to get in shape at the beginning of the year, don’t end up following through on that resolution?
I think much of it is our tendency to go into things all or nothing. I certainly struggle with this myself. When we want to do something, whether it’s forming a new habit, taking up a new hobby or pursuing some life changing goal, we tend to put 100% of our focus on the desired outcome at the outset.
Just recently, I got interested in photography. I purchased a new DSLR camera and I’ve been having a great time learning how to use the camera and shoot in manual modes. The pattern I see, and one which I see often in new activities or hobbies I start, is that I’m focused on it 100%.
Everything I do these days seems to be focused on photography. I took an all day course on Saturday. On Sunday I took my bike out for a good four hours to take photographs and today I found myself reading countless blog articles on digital photography.
On the one hand, it’s pretty cool that I have an interest in this hobby, on the other hand, I’m acutely aware of this period of intense focus and wanting to master the subject matter in the shortest amount of time as possible.
This isn’t abnormal. We all do it. At the beginning of the year we make the resolution to start eating batter, to get in shape or to achieve some goal and we go after it with gusto.
Maybe too mush gusto….
What if we focused our efforts with 10% of our focus instead of 100%. Doing this requires tremendous patience, but it will pay off dividends in the long run.
Starting a new habit or working on a new goal can be likened to physical training. Let’s say you want to run a 5K and you have no running experience. You don’t go out on day 1 and run the 5K, or even 1K for that matter. Doing so could seriously injure you and derail any hopes of achieving the goal of running the 5K.
Let’s take another example of starting a blog. There’s tons of advice out there the tells you that you must write epic content constantly and that you need to write one post or more every single week. I think that this puts too much pressure on people.
How about starting off writing something every other week? Not that you shouldn’t focus on writing good content, but how about focusing 10% of your time on the blog instead of 100%?
This seems entirely counter-intuitive, right? It’s like we’re programmed to go into things with 100% gusto, yet most times when we do that we find that the new habit or goal isn’t achieved. We burn out before we even have a chance to get started.
Slowing down will help you achieve more in the long-run. A few weeks ago I wrote about starting a morning routine. Just the act of starting a well intentioned morning routine can be quite a change if you’ve never formally structured a set of activities to do in the morning.
Rather than starting with ten new habits, it’s better to focus on one. Start off small. Focus on one thing. Have the intention to do it consistently, but focus on that one thing for 30 days. Then try adding something new.
When I started meditating, I didn’t start by sitting 30 minutes a day. I started with just a few minutes a day. Most meditation teachers will tell you that consistency is better than length. So, sitting for just a few minutes each day is more beneficial than sitting for an hour once a week. Again, the idea is the consistency of forming the habit and building from there.
I love this approach to meditation from Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche:
“In the beginning I encourage people to meditate in 10 minute periods, without the goal of seeing immediate results. The sensible approach is to tell ourselves, I can still be irritated ninety percent of the time.”
What a wonderful approach to doing things!
In a world where we put constant pressure in ourselves to live up to expectations at work and home, we can actually generate some compassion towards ourselves and welcome any believed imperfections we have.
I encourage you to think about this the next time you start out a new endeavor. Keep the 10% rule in the back of your head. Start out slow without any expectations and learn to have faith in the unknown and unexpected.
Although this uncertainty might take a little getting used to, the longer and more consistently you slowly chip away at starting something new the more likely that you’ll naturally create a new habit that becomes a normal part of your everyday life.
I’m Nate, a writer, mindfulness practitioner and student of the inner workings of the mind.
I like your idea that there’s tons of advice out there that tells you that you must write epic content constantly and that you need to write one post or more every single week. I think that this puts too much pressure on people.
Just set goals and then let it go and ‘ forget’ it….
Kees Dullemond´s last [type] ..e-book: 8 tips om mindful te zijn op het werk.