I want to share a story I read in the MBSR class that I just recently finished. It captures the sentiments of a woman close to the end of her life and her thoughts on what she would do differently if she had to do it over again.
I don’t know if I have this morbid thought process, but I often ponder this. What will I be grateful for when I’m at the end of my life. Will I be happy with how I lived? Will it matter how much money I made, how many businesses I started or how much work I put in to become ‘successful’ (a relative word in my opinion)? I’m ever cognizant of the fragility of life and what a gift it is. In fact, there’s no guarantee I will make it through this day..or tomorrow..or the next day.
What would life be like if we were to wake up to the moments? To not ‘live years ahead of each day’ as Nadine points out below. Personally, I think we’d all be a little more light-hearted and easier on ourselves. Sure life has its serious moments, but more and more I’m trying to carry my thoughts lightly, live in the moment and laugh a whole lot more. What about you?
If I Had My Life to Live Over
I’d like to make more mistakes next time. I’d relax, I would limber up. I would be sillier than I had been on this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I’m not one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I’ve had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.
If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies.
Nadine
85 years old
Louisville, Kentukcy
I’m Nate, a writer, mindfulness practitioner and student of the inner workings of the mind.
That was beautiful Nate. It’s nice to take a step back and think about that.
If I were to apply it for this very moment, I would stop caring so much about social media, RSS feeds, taking in so much information, and basically the internet. One of my most refreshing weeks was when I had to send my laptop in for repairs and didn’t have internet or a computer. I became closer to people, meditated more, danced more, and just enjoyed the “real” world more.
I know what I’m doing online is to create a better future but to what extent is it worth losing myself to a 13 inch radiating screen everyday?
Thank you for the wake-up call Nate.
.-= Ben Weston´s last blog ..The 2 Most Effective Visualization Techniques =-.
Hi Ben! I really like this:
I know what I’m doing online is to create a better future but to what extent is it worth losing myself to a 13 inch radiating screen everyday?
….
Exactly. I think that myself a lot. It’s not the I’m against social media or even blogging for that manner (hey, i’m doing it, right?). It’s more the amount of time spent doing these things. What would it be like to not ponder this, but to really believe that this could be your last day…or even last year to live? Would we spend countless hours on Twitter? How would we change our lives?
Good things to think about and I’m glad you’re thinking about them as well.
Peace.
Hi Nate,
What a lovely story, and a great way to readjust thinking. I particularly like the idea of travelling lighter. I feel like I carry at least one of everything in my bag (and two of some things – nappies, tissues, pens, mobile phones, sunhats, baby wipes, plastic dinosaurs) but I also carry a lot in my head – worry about my friends and family, trying to remember to sign school notes, wondering how to make my family budget balance, trying to remember when the dog last went to the vet, thinking about work. It might be nice to try to let some of that go! Perhaps that will be the change I make in my life this week, thanks for the idea!
Topi
Yeah, I think that might be what Nadine was getting it. Not so much in the literal sense…but in the figurative sense to travel lighter. To not carry so much mental baggage around, especially when it’s about things we can’t control in this moment (at least most of the time). It’s something I’m trying to do more and more of – carry my thoughts lightly. Just notice them as thoughts. Accept them with compassion and non-judgement and either let them go or take action to change them, if I can, in this moment. To continue to worry and create stories around our worries…which really does create a snowball effect..is not beneficial. This is something I definitely do, and I think we all do to some extent or another. I’m working on it though!
This is beautiful, Nate. Thank you, very much, for sharing.
And may Nadine be at peace, and happy as she goes through the last stretch of her existence.
As I mentioned in my blog, I started MBSR practicum a few weeks ago, and was privileged, with other fellow interns, to have last night, our first live session with twenty extraordinary individuals, all engaged on the path awakening, and eager to discover the gifts of mindfulness. Very, very moving!
.-= Marguerite Manteau-Rao´s last blog ..Dharma Lovers =-.
That’s wonderful that you started an MBSR practicum! I just finished the eight week course and I very much enjoyed it. I certainly plan on continuing my practice going forward and I will probably look into going to a retreat at some time in the near future.
Wonderful story Nate. What gets me is that everyone is at least somewhat aware that life could end at any moment, yet we still take the gamble and live ‘years ahead of each day.’ But it’s an impossible gamble to win as one day it will end and we will have to reflect upon our life and count our regrets. There’s nothing to gain by looking so far into the future.
As for taking life a little more lightly, I think that part of the issue is that we associate being an adult with seriousness. If we don’t live sanely and sensibly, we are often considered to be wasting our lives (as opposed to being fully dedicated and focused on our careers, future, etc.)
As children we live by the moment, just as we should. So why is it so discouraged as we get older?
.-= Earl´s last blog ..My Pockets Are Full Of Change…Are Yours? =-.
Yeah, I’m not sure why that is Earl. I suppose a lot of it is related to roles and the identity we create around being an adult. You know, such things as responsibility, seriousness (as you state), focus, etc. The concept of ‘play’ is associated with being a kid. Even at work most people don’t play…and I struggle with this myself a lot. Finding activities to do that spark my creativity as opposed to just going through the motions.
The concept of time is also extremely fascinating to me and it’s something I’ve been really in tune with since I was a child. I remember being a kid and the summers would seem to last forever. Now, it literally (in every sense of that word) feels like every single year is going by quicker and quicker, which is one of the reasons I got interested in mindfulness and focusing on what I spend my time doing. We truly do only have these moments to live. I do think as children our concept of our life and our small amount of time in the world give us a sense of time going slower…but it’s crazy to even say that b/c it doesn’t. I also think that as we grow older we become more inwardly focused and lose touch with our lives in a sense, which can create a sense of time moving faster. The constant rushing and doing and ‘accomplishing’ in order to achieve some level of success. All of that plays into it.
I think its no coincidence that many of the companies that succeed beyond all imagination are those that have set up a non-serious workplace, where creativity and plain old fun are encouraged during the work day. A serious, stuffy, stale work environment is simply not helping anyone.
Also, I think what a lot of people don’t realize is that one moment of mindfulness, even while sitting in a chair staring out at some simple view, has more of a positive impact on our lives than when someone creates their fifth internet business in two months. Only sitting in the chair is going to stop life from ‘rushing’ by.
.-= Earl´s last blog ..Tales Of A Bollywood Actor =-.
Yeah, that’s a good point. I think some responsibility needs to be taken by the individual as well as the employer. So many employees are dis-engaged. A lot of it is due the work environment itself…although some of it is due to the individual as well. I think that by being more mindful you can open up to change…and not feeling a victim.
Beautifully put Nate. I also have these kind of thoughts too .. I think it’s a good thing. It keeps things in perspective and helps us live more.
Man, I tell that myself every single day.
It’s sooo easy to get distracted by all the turmoil, and to fall back into the routines of a mundane life. It’s almost a fight that needs to be kept alive.
Thanks for the reminder !
PS. I read that quote from the old lady before, it’s simply beautiful.
I make it a personal promise that I will not say that at the end of my life !
.-= Mars Dorian´s last blog ..How To Increase Your Brand Value, and Why You Can Not Screw This One Up ! =-.
Right on Mars. Not just mundane life, but the constant doing….without even stopping to enjoy the moments. I was just watching an interview of this woman who had cervical cancer. She was a ‘successful’ (I always put that in quotes since it’s SUCH a relative term) woman with a high powered job, etc, etc….well, when something like that hits you, your view on life gets completely flipped. It’s not about the constant chasing and doing to achieve some desired ‘future’ outcome (build the biggest blog, make lots of money, start multiple businesses, etc)…she realized that life is about connections and moments. The joy comes from the close personal relationships we have….the simple moments….not this outward view of success that so many strive for.
Climb more mountains, swim more rivers… and have more real than imaginary worries… great to publish this here, Nate. This lady surely knows what she’s talking about. The strange thing is that we often only read these things and feel they are right, but don’t act upon them. This is what we have to change.
.-= Fabian | The Friendly Anarchist´s last blog ..How to Live Life at Your Own Pace (Part 2): Communication and Media =-.
I want to pick more daisies too – I’m starting today!
Yes! That’s what I’m talking about Kelly. Get out there. Smell the flowers….heck, even pick them! I’m absolutely loving the transition from winter to spring to now summer. The bright colors, wonderful smells and sounds of the birds….I’m taking it in and enjoying all of it.
This is a beautiful note from my home-girl…lol !
Shalin´s last [type] ..Emotional Quotient – EQ
It’s sad and it’s wonderful! It sounds like she has had such a wonderful life…but how long did it take her to realize that it’s the simple things that matter? That we need to enjoy every moment and live more in the moment? Too many people realize this late in life, which is truly saddening.